Sex has been a talk in my mind for a while. What benefit does sex have on relationship before marriage? Someone ones told me sex is a proof of love, but in a real senerio, Is sex really a proof of love, if yes why have their been more broken relationships that doesn’t lead to marriage? and several having multiple sex partners.
First, let’s talk about what exactly is behind this sex drive. Sexual activity are released from chemicals in our brains. For women, it is primarily the hormone oxytocin, Which allows a woman to bond to the most significant people in her life. It eases stress, creating feelings of calm and closeness, which leads to increased trust and for men it is vasopressin. Which causes a man to bond to a woman during intimate contact. Some call it the “commitment hormone” or “monogamy molecule”.
This hormone generates a desire for commitment and rouses loyalty. It also crystallizes these emotional memories in our minds, making these encounters and experiences difficult to forget.
God, in His infinite wisdom, knew that some days marriage would get hard. He knew we would need some help choosing each other day after day, over and over again. He knew that some days we wouldn’t like our spouse very much. We would argue. Bills would come in. Babies would get sick. In-laws would come to town. Emergencies would happen. Stress would overshadow the relationship. So, He installed an over-ride system (hormones) that would cause us to stick together through thick and thin, in good times and bad, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health. It would cause us to feel devoted, loyal, possessive, and willing to endure trials to keep what belongs to us. What an intelligent Designer we have
As we bond and break, bond and break, bond and break, we lose our ability to properly bond. When we’re ready for that new, serious relationship or marriage, something goes missing that prevents us from fully bonding; we don’t feel that connected or committed. Our feelings may seem to diminish. When we see someone else a little more exciting, more appealing, more perfect for us, we’re ready to move on in a heartbeat. The condition of being “crazy in love” suddenly disappears.
We may even say we don’t feel all that excited anymore. We may even lose faith in falling in love again. But this is why it is important to protect our purity; spirit, soul, and body. We must understand that ability to be pure and save ourselves is not just a religious ideal. It’s not just about giving your valuable v-card to someone. That’s not the point. The point is to keep our stickiness intact so that when we find the right person, we connect with them for life.
We are sexual beings and that is why sex has always been, is and will be a matter of great importance, especially because it is a common desire in everyone. Sex is also one of the greatest tools of intimacy between the couple and that is why it has a great influence in the mood between the two. Unfortunately, sex has been seen as something bad, impure, tiring, selfish and even fleshly for many couples who stop having sex after marriage.
What many don’t know is that behind this bad reputation about sex is linked to the fact of having sex before marriage. When the couple does not wait for the wedding night to have sex, usually the following happens:
Sex gives the couple intimacy at the wrong time. In the minds of many, they don’t have to win over the other person and now that they slept with their partner, they no longer need to make any effort to conquer him/her – he/she already gave everything they had to give. That’s why many begin to be possessive, jealous and even controlling. They live as if they belonged to each other without wanting to commit to marriage.For women sex usually means a complete surrender to the guy and she creates expectations that he will surrender to her too, but no.
She starts to behave as if she is won over but also feels undervalued in the relationship. He doesn’t give her as much attention as she gives him. He doesn’t commit to her as she does to him. Many never get married, for what? They already have everything!The sexual act between two people who are not married is usually to satisfy themselves and not their partner, it ends up not being enjoyable as it should be. That is why many women after getting married don’t have the desire for sex, they associate sex as something selfish. Fatigue or stress is a reason to deny intimacy to her husband for several days, weeks and even months — and when she does, it’s by obligation.Not everyone who has sex before marriage gets married, this means it’s possible that you are giving some of your most intimate moments to a person who will not be with you for the rest of your life, and this boyfriend or fiance can be part of your sexual baggage.
Another possibility is the undesired or “desired” pregnancy. Those who get pregnant unintentionally, completely change direction and become a mother at the wrong time. Without being ready, she is scared of possibly having to raise a child alone and may even get married with the first guy who is interested.
The one that willingly gets pregnant without their partner knowing puts him against the wall, and he ends up marrying her just because she is pregnant. They will always have this between them… “he only married me because I was pregnant”, “I was not ready to get married, I will live life as a single even if I have the title of husband”. Not to mention that they both never had a life together before they began a life of three… no time to adapt, no preparation, the relationship is always in conflict.And the sexually transmitted diseases… no one speaks about the subject but there is a lot of people carrying incurable diseases out there!
The man who respects you enough to wait for the wedding night shows that he values you above his physical needs. He has the profile of a husband that you want and need.
The wedding night doesn’t need to be one more night, it can be THE NIGHT. You can both surrender completely, without holding back, without doubt, fear or afraid of the next morning. The first time that he touches you will be because he valued you first and not because he had a simple attraction for you. It will be the beginning of a life together, only you two!