My late husband and I had sex, He was HIV positive surprisingly I remained HIV nagative including our baby.
We started seeing each other and one thing led to another and we started having s*x. It was great and fun because we were really in love with each other. Then he proposed to me, and of course, I said yes. This was in 2008. We got married that year.
As usual, my church requests that couples do medical screening and pregnancy test before you can be married. Which we did and everything was fine, or so I thought. But unexpectedly two months after marriage, my hubby became very sick and had to be admitted for about 2 months. He was Diagnosed with HIV positive. My whole world fell apart, I almost died from shock but when I did my own test it came out negative.
Then I went alone to the doctor to ask my troubling questions, and tell him that we did the test together about 4 months back and we were negative, the doctor said either he just got infected or it was a false negative (maybe he was in his window period at the time). It was heartbreaking. We kept all this from family because believe me, the stigmatization of HIV is real.
My husband on the other hand didn’t believe it one bit, he said he is not HIV positive that something is wrong, because he is sure of himself. My husband is a very knowledgeable person and well read. We talked about it for many days and at the end of the day, a part of me believed that indeed maybe it is spiritual. Why am I then negative? Why 2 months after our successful wedding? Maybe it is just a temptation. What do I do now? Who do I talk to that will not laugh at me. Only God. I put everything in the hands of God, and started praying harder than before.
He became well and resumed work to the glory of God. He kept saying he didn’t cheat on me and he didn’t have HIV. I even begged him to tell me the truth, that I will stand with him no matter what. I was so hurt that I told myself I will never have s*x with him again. He respected it, he respects me so much. He was a good man.
Then one day I was so horny, the urge was so much I couldnt bear it anymore, I hurriedly went to buy a pack of condoms after talking to my doctor. We started making love with condoms. But there were times, we couldn’t just wait to wear the condom as” body no be firewood”, even before I could can pick a condom from the bedside drawer, we would make love over and over again without it.
3 years after, precisely in 2011, hubby became sick again. He was adamant to go to the hospital, he said he was tired of doctors telling him he has HIV when he knows he didn’t. I talked and begged but he remained adamant, infact it became worse when Hubby’s family began accusing me of not taking good care of my hubby that “I was a bad woman”. Gradually, He went from cough, to rashes, to pneumonia and eventually to death.
Hmmmmm, my world was shattered, I became confused. Due to the stress of his health deteriorating, I didn’t even notice my missing period,I initially thought it resulted from the pressure of running around before his death but my period didn’t show up for 4 months. I didnt know I was pregnant. I never knew that the last time we made love before he got sick was when I conceived. Hubby died when I was 6 months pregnant.
He was excited he was going to be a father. All my ante-natal screening was negative to HIV surprisingly. I gave birth to our son through the normal vagina delivery,”A healthy baby” the doctor said and this happened 3 months after his death,
4years now, I am telling this story to those women who think HIV (or any STD) is for some people or status, to marry God fearing men who would not jeopardize your future for few seconds of pleasure. I have been there and have experienced it first hand. By Gods grace, I am working and can provide basic needs for my son and I. 4 years gone by, and it is still hard to trust another man. Like my doctor said, I was one of the lucky ones, I came out unscathed.
Do not cheat or condone cheating. Staying with a cheat is like been in the war front, it’s only a matter of time. You deserve better. We all deserve better.