So I went out with my mum to buy a few things the day after valentine’s and she pointed out the huge crowds at the eatries we passed by. She couldn’t quite understand why everybody was out that day since valentine’s had been on a Saturday or why the ladies were so skimpily dressed. I said to her ‘Mum, yesterday was Val’s day, today is the side chics day’. She’s still laughing about it till now.
In case you are confused about the term ‘side chic’, the side chic is the unofficial babe. The side chic is the backup plan in case the official girl starts acting up. The side chic does not enjoy as many rights as the girlfriend, but works harder to impress and keep the man. The side chic may be hotter but is always second to the official girl friend and she accepts this plight with no qualms. She’s the spare tyre, the extra handkerchief, the spare glasses, the flat slippers incase your heels start to pinch…the side chic.
I had to ask myself why any girl would agree to play second fiddle in a man’s life. I mean there’s already so much wahala when you’re the only girl in his life, not to talk of when you come after his girlfriend, food, football, work, friends, etc. That’s a harsh life.
So what makes the side chic agree to being a side chic?, what makes her settle for less than any woman should? Is it the fact that the world’s female population is grossly higher than the male population? Is she trying to help create a balance by starting a two-woman-to-one-man trend? Here’s what I was able to come up with.
In our world today, billions of people walking on the streets suffer in silence from this psychological disease. Most of them women. With women’s fashion craze these days, from expensive hairs and hairdos, to expensive clothes, phones, ipads, etc., it’s so easy for any lady that doesn’t have these things to begin to see herself as less of a woman than others (a woman would have to have low regard for herself to even entertain the thought of being number two in her man’s life).
So, imagine what happens when this woman meets a man who can afford to get her all these things and place her in the upper class, the only issue being that he’s in a ‘serious’ relationship with another lady. She’ll agree to sell herself short just so she can say ‘Lemme send you my pin’ along with all the other girls. It’s the same inferiority complex that would make her dress extra skimpy just to get attention. She’ll try so hard to impress and when one guy finally walks up to her and compliments her, she’s the happiest girl in the world.
Some women need a man in their lives to feel special. They experience periods of inadequacy when they fall out of relationships, that’s why we see beautiful women these days who remain in abusive relationships. When such a woman is on her own, she’ll naturally want to find a man to attach herself to, and if the first person that comes by is already taken, but open to polygamy, the side chic cycle begins.
When a woman is so particular about what she wants, she stands the risk of becoming a side chic too. Imagine a scenario where the lady turns down various single men because they have one short coming or the other, and then suddenly meets Mr. Perfection who is already seeing someone. She’ll get tired of her search and just occupy office as his side chic.
Some women are just indecisive. She has the right man in her life and she doesn’t realise it till he gets over her and finds someone else. The love suddenly hits her and she starts pining after him, by which time he only has room for one other woman in his life… a side chic.
“He has a girl friend oh! We’re just friends… friends with benefits”. My dear you are a side chic. There’s no other name for you. Stop deceiving yourself and accept your position in his life.
In many cases, women don’t want a man till someone else suddenly develops interest in him. Covetousness. You just want someone else’s property for yourself. It’s a sin in the Bible and a sin when it comes to relationships too. It’s always better to find your own and be content with him. When you constantly chase after men who are already taken, you’re just feeding your inner side chic.
The thing about the side chic trend is that once you start, you almost never stop. You just keep meeting and dating men who are already in relationships. The side chic trend is as much the fault of men as it is the fault of the women. We need to set our priorities right. You’re not less of a woman if you don’t have the regular iphone, blackberry and samsung phone in your designer handbag that matches the expensive shoes. You’re not less of a woman if you still fix synthetic weave ons and not human hair.
Concentrate less on what people think and focus more on being happy. I always advice that you stay away from anything that’ll cause any wife, fiancee or girlfriend to stay up at night and pray against you. Wait for yours and he’ll come. No kere kere love abeg (Tiwa Savage).
I must say at this point that some women have absolutely no idea that they are the side chics, this article centres on those who know and accept it. For those who have no idea, I’ll discuss signs that you’re the side chic in the next article. Adios.
Posted by Pearl O’Browne