What do you do when your relationship suddenly becomes a one-sided affair, because your partner is constantly … BUSY??
A relationship can become a serious depressant when it begins to feel like you are putting more effort into it than the other party; when it becomes obvious that you’re the one making all the attempts at communication.
Feelings of resentment start kicking in and in the long run they could totally ruin the relationship.
It’s never fun to be the one doing all the calling and all the texting and all the visiting, you start to feel like a pest and you end up getting into unnecessary arguments because you’re hurting.
Before you take the drastic step and end that relationship, here are a few things (9 things to be precise) that you must do.
1. MAKE A LIST-
Lists have always been one of my favourite things and strange as it may sound; when it comes to things as fragile as relationships, they can be very helpful.
Step 1 is to draw up a list of things that attract you to him, things that have kept you thus far in the relationship.
On another page write a list of things that he does or has done to upset you, his character flaws, etc. in this way you can determine whether the relationship is worth the hassle or not.
It’s up to you to determine if his qualities are enough to mask his flaws and if you can cope with both.
If you can’t then you are permitted to quit while you’re ahead.
2. TELL HIM HOW YOU FEEL-
Communication is a very important part of every relationship.
It’s important to let your partner know when you’re hurt or pleased with his actions, if not you stand the risk of storing up emotions that eventually sour the relationship.
Let him know that you feel neglected and that you crave a little more attention.
If you don’t let him in on how you feel; if you keep quiet about it for fear of upsetting him,, then he’ll never know how you feel and things will never get better.
You’ll have to pretend to be fine for as long as the relationship lasts.
Don’t make the mistake of expecting him to just KNOW how you feel, he’s not psychic and no matter how long you’ve dated or been married, he’s bound to make mistakes.
It’s your duty to point them out and help him step up his game.
3. GIVE HIM THE BENEFIT OF DOUBT-
Don’t jump to conclusions!
Don’t just assume that since he has delivered the famous ‘I had to work late’ line, it must mean he’s being unfaithful.
Sometimes it’s just as he says…he had to work late.
Have a little faith in your partner; don’t immediately attack him with accusations.
Trust him until you’re proved wrong and even after that listen to him, hear his explanation and decide whether or not to accept it.
Trust him, but don’t be gullible.
If all the signs are pointing at unfaithfulness, then 9 out of 10 times he’s being unfaithful.
Either ways, hear him out.
4. BE SUPPORTIVE-
If he’s actually swamped with work and responsibilities then he needs to know that you’ve got his back, don’t be so busy nagging that you can’t encourage him.
If you put up the right attitude with a ‘busy bee-f’ then he’ll want to call you or spend time with you after a hectic day, because he’ll know that you have just the right words and that he’ll be able to relax and let off steam with you.
Don’t make him feel like he always has to be on guard or prepared for a battle around you.
Be patient, kind, understanding, loving and romantic.
5. OCCUPY YOURSELF-
The more free time you have on your hands, the more neglected you’ll feel when he doesn’t call or text or visit.
Occupy yourself with something.
Start up a project, learn a trade, go to school, study, put in your best at work.
If you have too many free hours on your hands, you’ll start thinking up a thousand ways and people he could be cheating on you with.
Remember, an idle mind is the devil’s workshop.
6. BE REALISTIC-
Don’t go expecting more than you could possibly get from him.
If you’re dating a working man, then you should not expect long phone calls in the day time.
He isn’t likely to have any time for you till after work, so your phone calls aren’t likely to come till the evenings.
Be logical about it, don’t require the sun and moon from him.
7. TAKE A STAND-
Determine what exactly you want in the relationship and take a stand on it.
If you want extra attention from him, then you both need to discuss it.
Don’t allow yourself suffer in silence when there is an available solution.
8. TAKE STEP 1-7 AGAIN- just in case you didn’t do it right.
9. When all fails…LET GO.