(1)Cutting of Hair when your husband dies:
Basically, this funeral rite in this part of the world has shown to even add more grief for the bereaved than sympathy.
In some cultures in Nigeria, a lady is forced to cut her hair when she loses her husband.
The reason for this is still beyond me.
We live in a society where a woman has to work and fend for the family. They work in offices and centers where you just can’t show up for work bald. Even if you have to be bald, then you’ll have to do it as a fashion and style statement, where you now have to accessorize and dress the part, to give your baldness a sexy touch.
Otherwise, most of the women pushed to this ugly custom end up having to wear wigs.
Then the question becomes, why did they have to cut their hair in the first place?
Strangely enough, some women voluntarily opt for this public show of mourning.
As much as i think the tradition should have been obsolete, if its the woman’s choice, then its ok. As long as it was not forcefully imposed.
The good news is that these days, money can buy almost everything. The women who for some reason have reasons not to cut their hair are given a fine option, which most gladly pay.
If the haircut can be substituted for money, then it has become a selfish venture, hence making the tradition pointless.
(2)Billing the breaved:
For some strange reason, one of the cruelties of nature, the major bread winners of most families are the first to go.
It becomes a huge financial burden for the family. The first headache is the kinsmen.
The kind of list they throw at the bereaved family is nothing short of wickedness.
Dont get me wrong, if you have the wherewithal to celebrate the life of a loved one, especially those who grew to a ripe old age, there is nothing wrong with that.
But telling a woman or man who still has children in school, to buy all sorts of things for the kinsmen, who are alive and healthy, to sell their property to bury the already dead, when feeding is a problem for the family, is just wrong.
The same kinsmen show up at the funeral, eat up all your food, get drunk on your life savings, take home souvenirs and drop an empty envelope for the mourning family.
The choice of how much to spend on a funeral should be entirely that of the immediate nuclear family of the deceased.
This tradition is as old as traditon.
It is believed to be a sign put on an individual for recognition and identification by his people in the event he gets missing, during wars, or for whatever reason an adult should chose to get missing or need to be recognized by his own people who are not blind.
Sadly and surprisingly, it is still done in some parts of this country.
An innocent child’s face is torn apart, putting the baby at risk of all sorts of infections and literally scarring them for life.
Recently, with the advent of some level of technology and development, people have started questioning the need for such tribal marks in terms of recognizing an individual.
However, some have defended this ugly practice, claiming it has some medicinal/ health benefits.
To some, it has a diabolic undertone, and some say its just a harmless traditional practice.
Scientifically, it has absolutely no base whatsoever.
It is an ugly tradition which leaves an ugly mark. It has no benefit and should be stopped.
However, if an individual, out of his own volition decides to get scarred, after all, people put on all sorts of tattoos these days, then it should be by choice, not an unwanted gift given to an innocent child.
Ladies, throw your shoes at me all you want, but the truth shall be spoken nonetheless.
This is totally wrong. A price tag marks an item for sale.
Marriage isn’t a sale. It’s a transition.
How much exactly is your daughter worth?
People have actually not married because of the steepness of bride price in some parts of the country.
So the criteria for giving out your daughter, is who can pay for her head, not who would love, care and cherish her?
Is it not who should become her new family, offering her the same affection she has always gotten from her own family?
This practice is the leading setback for gender inequality in this part of the world.
Some men in this part of the world see their wives as property.
To describe a rich man, they say, he has lots of property and lots of wives.
That’s wrong on so may levels.
The strange part is, women don’t seem to mind this derogatory tradition. Infact, there are certain things you’ll say to a woman and her response would be, “Have you paid my bride price?”
Women are not property, they should not be sold.
No price should be placed for their purchase and no amount should be taken on their heads.
You are not selling your daughter, you are giving a man your blessing to become family with her.
The kinsmen who in no way contributed to her upbringing are the ones who spearhead this ugly tradition.
They cart away a struggling young man’s savings to enrich themselves, while they send the girl into an already depleted home.